The Cost of Tolerance

I was just about to make preparations to head to the Sunshine State next week to do some one-on-one work with my beautiful assistant, Deanna, before she settles in to prepare for her last two months of pregnancy. We are so excited for her and her growing family - and ours!

But after five years of completing work at Pleroma Sanctuary, I still have a few things to do to be prepared for a clear-eyed entry into 2026 (OMG!) So, I opted to trade warm, blue skies, the ocean, and my lovely assistant's company for cold, grey skies, bare winter trees, and a solitary assignment.  Not my favorite landscape, but there is purpose in my decision, and purpose always holds promise.

I refuse to carry the same unfinished business into another new year.  I want to enter it with order and clarity about what just happened and what comes next. What do I need to keep, let go of, grieve, celebrate, and reconcile?   I want to sift through what I have tolerated and separate it from the non-negotiables, and be ready to move with the new thing God is doing.  

Life is full of choices that, left unexamined, can compound into years of squandered time. I’ve often wondered if, when we get to heaven, we’ll be able to watch a replay of our lives and see where we missed a moment—or the very move of God—because we gave priority to something else or stayed too busy and distracted to notice the cost.

We are often our own worst enemies because we rarely stop to consider what fuels our responses or that we even have a choice. Instead, we keep marching on, running on the same wheel, trading our irreplaceable time for—what, exactly?

It’s the rewind that we miss: real-time reflection on why we do what we do, what our motives and purposes are, and where it is taking us. The truth is, if this is how we live, we’re not leading; we’re being led.

Pastor Greg said something recently that still reverberates: “The world takes so much from us."

Indeed, it does, and we can choose today to stop letting it do that. 

Like my all-time favorite late-night show, Bob Shreve and the Past Prime Playhouse that aired in Cincinnati, I’m going for three P’s: I’m preparing to live my life on purpose, guided by principles I will not compromise just to accommodate my own or anyone else’s preferences.

Preferences and familiarity can get you into a lot of trouble. They blur the lines of what is acceptable to God and open the gates of hell to tolerance—or worse, indifference, or even cowardice.

I was recently jolted awake to this in a series of events. The first happened at one of my favorite restaurants, which I’ve been going to for years. They serve great dim sum, and the friendly staff welcome me with warm smiles and delicious food. On Sunday afternoons, it has been a source of comfort, reminding me of Chinatown, where I grew up in Liverpool—close to home, yet separated by a world of language, culture, and cuisine, full of aromatic flavors and mysterious surroundings. I could escape there without venturing too far from what I knew. 

Familiarity can be a paradox, both good and bad.    

I’ve noticed the same recurring problem: a bathroom that shows no signs of cleaning from one visit to the next—even the hand soap is diluted. After I complained to the owner, she sat down to eat rather than attend to the work that needed to be done. That was my last visit. Later that week, when my hairdresser handed me a roll of toilet paper to stock the still-dirty bathroom and plunked her phone down in front of me, insisting I listen to a man who channels aliens refute the Bible, I was done. Or so I thought.

They say things come in threes, and my neighbor must not have known this when he sent me a cascade of flaming arrows in his usual berating style in a group text. Not only is he a bully, but, as I recently discovered, a slanderer too. And he has also learned something about me: I no longer have any tolerance for dishonor, bullies, and corrosive behavior that sows discord among the brethren.

Clearly, not everyone feels this way—not even some of my neighbors. We are living in the most vitriolic, truth-averse, hate-filled propaganda culture I have seen in my lifetime. The soul’s stubborn, self-adoring sense of sovereignty is now exalted against anything that dares to stand in its way.

As the saying goes, if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything. But why stand for just “something” when you can stand for the truth? Truth is the highest order of all things and the principal standard that should guide your life. But does it? And what is actually ordering your life?

The words of my friend’s mom often replay in my mind: “I passed through life, but I didn’t live. I didn’t know it was a value until it was too late.”

I don’t want that to be my story—and you don’t want it to be yours, do you?

So I have one question: What must you stop tolerating to live your God-given, truest life, with clarity and purpose?

And I’ll take it one step further with an invitation to do just that. Step off the hamster wheel and take time to come away to this special place that’s been prepared for you. Reflect on where you’ve traveled in the year now ending and where you are going in the year ahead. And most of all, be still and see God in your story.

What are you waiting for? Click HERE to unlock two beautiful opportunities to do just that. But be sure to respond by December 24th to secure your spot. 

Grace filled Blessings,

Pauline